Secret Relationships - Can They Work?
Secret relationships sound exciting and adventurous, donít they? Just having a secret is provocative, but when thereís romance and sex involved that makes the secret even juicier. Do you like know why secret relationships have such a big appeal, and that people wonder why youíre smiling all the time?
Secret relationships arenít uncommon. But you should also realize that they donít always work. In fact, having a relationship thatís a secret can put a huge strain on you as a couple. The odds of this type of relationship only lasting a short time are pretty high.
It can be more difficult than you think to go very long without talking about the relationship. If it werenít secret, you would probably mention your partner throughout the day in casual conversation. Even just mentioning something you saw together or talked about would be a natural thing to do.
But in secret relationships, you have to keep yourself from doing that. You might find it on the tip of your tongue to talk about your partner and have to catch yourself all the time. Having to censor yourself several times a day can be quite a source of stress.
Add to that your partnerís feelings about having to do the same thing. Between the two of you, that can add up to a lot of tension.
Thereís also the worry about being seen together. People in hush-hush relationships donít have the luxury of going out go a great restaurant for dinner. They canít go see the latest movie together, or walk down the road holding hands.
There are exceptions to this. If youíre keeping the relationship secret because youíre good friends and you donít want people to know itís become more, you can still be seen together. But youíll have to give only appearance of friendship around others.
Some relationships are kept secret for that very reason. Friends have become more than that but dotí want to ìjinxî the relationship. Or they decide that their group of friends might not understand. And they think maybe keeping it a secret is a good idea in case things donít work out. Then the friends would never have to know.
Many coworkers who start dating keep the secret for the same reason. Things would just be easier at work if other people didnít know, both while itís happening and in case it ends. And with work situations, such dating might be discouraged making the secret necessary.
But by keeping it a secret for those reasons, itís as if youíre saying that itís probably not going to work out. At least, youíre showing that you have serious doubts about it. How healthy does it seem to be in a relationship that you must believe wonít last, so much so that youíre keeping it a secret?
While the relationship might be thrilling at first and seem like an adventure, the best way to have secret relationships is with the understanding that theyíll only be secret for a short time.