Ahhh, love! Such a wonderful feeling when you are in it, and there is no other individual that you could possibly share that emotion with the way you do with your significant other. The next step is marriage. Both of you have vowed that there will never be another, and you promise to love and cherish one another for the rest of your lives.
Suddenly the soft music stops playing in the air…the honeymoon is over. The realization that there is more to a marriage than just the love shared between each other, it really takes work.
Marriage is a commitment and almost even a contract between the parties involved. Should that contract ever be compromised, what would one do? There are ways to save a troubled marriage. In some cases, saving it is much better than walking away. (One note, however — in my opinion, if the relationship is abusive in anyway, both parties should consider parting their ways. If not, then working to save it can be the best way to go.)
Before going any further, the very best resource I’ve found for saving a marriage is right here (click on the link to check it out). There’s a very quick video there that will walk you through some of the steps you should be taking immediately. It’s well worth the 10 minutes or so it will take to watch it.
Some things you should do (and other you should never do)…
In order to save the marriage, one must take a look at what is actually causing the problem. Relationship expert Emily Battaglia discusses some of the top reasons that can cause damaging results to a marriage.
The first one she mentions is withholding sex. For some it is the constant bickering that keeps them from having the desire. Sex is a very intimate moment that is shared between two people….it is a bonding, and should not be overlooked.
If it is the fighting, get over it. After all, it has been said that make up sex is the best. She goes on to discuss other issues like spending too much time with family, work, friends…..spending too much money.
For whatever reason your marriage has been damaged, and needs instant attention. By discovering where the issue was actually started, the involved parties have taken the first step in salvaging their relationship.
Are you committed?
Commitment is the next step in saving your marriage. Both parties have to want to make an attempt to save what they have been building for the past however many years. It is imperative that the heart and mind stay open during the rocky stage.
Set goals. Make them small and positive in the beginning. They need to be achievable. Any negative setback can only cause additional harm to the relationship. If the goal is not achieved, this could definitely have a negative effect on the situation.
Forgiveness, although difficult due to the anger that has risen, is an absolute obligation you both need to apply. Whatever it was that went wrong in the relationship, you have to ask yourself is it really worth obsessing over?
So some extra money that you all really did not have budgeted was used improperly. You both discussed it, or argued, and it is over. There is nothing you or your spouse can do to change what happened. What you can do is find a solution to the current problem at hand and find ways to avoid it in the future.
Saving your marriage will not happen overnight, so patience is a must during this process. It could months or even years to salvage what you all had. Take your time and do what is right for both of you. And remember, please click here to watch this quick video before you do anything else. It will help.